Wow, it's been at least a week since I posted here.

What's been going on? Not much and tons all at the same time. I stepped up the apartment search and am moving closer to finding a place.

I managed to, once again, NOT go out on that Art Gallery date with Kate. This time though, I didn't ask her out again. I was able to break the "I haven't asked anyone out in more than a decade" barrier with her, now maybe I'll be able to break the "I'm going out with a woman who actually shows up for a date" barrier. Baby steps folks, baby steps.

I've been watching a lot of hockey as the first round of playoffs draws to a close tonight. I think I've seen almost every game this year, and with all of the overtime games, it's no wonder I'm a little bit tired.

I spent 3 days at Flash In The Can, Canada's best Flash show, put on by Canada's largest Flash User Group, Flash In T.O.. It was very cool, and I learned a lot about how much work I have to do to get my own Flash Chops up to speed!

That pretty much brings us up to date. Yeah, I know, not too exciting, but that's okay, I think the next couple of weeks are gonna pick right up!

Thursday, 10th April, 2003, 12:21, Eastern Standard Time

Took it pretty easy last night. Went out with Uni and watched the Leafs Game, followed up with the tail end of the Edmonton-Dallas game. I love playoff season.

There is nowhere better to be during Hockey Playoffs than Toronto. Here we celebrate every win! Every round, every game, and arguably every goal. We may not have won the cup in 36 years, but our team consistently fills the seats, and we back our boys.

With everything going on in the world these days, the war, SARS, it's nice to have something else to focus on. It doesn't make those things any less important, but everyone needs a diversion.
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Tuesday, 8th April, 2003, 03:41, Eastern Standard Time

So, I ran into Kate over at Shoeless Joe's tonight. She came up to me right away and apologized for yesterday. She was really tired and went to nap for a bit after her staff meeting, and next thing she knew it was 1 in the morning.

She felt really bad, and assured me that it was nothing I had done or said, and she had been worried that I would be mad at her. Should I be worried that she can read me so well even this early in the game?

I told her that wasn't the case, and we arranged to go out again this Sunday. I promised her that she would have a great time going out with me, and she said "I'm not worried about that, I know we'll have a great time."

I told her that I was looking forward to it, because I think that she is really great, to which she answered "Me Too."

She then qualified that answer by saying that what she meant was that she thinks I'm great too, not that she thinks that she's great. Of course, I followed up with some remark about how I could understand if she thinks she's great, because I think so too. She laughed and said "Sunday. I promise."

She's a sweetheart, and I would like to get to know her better, even if our date goes nowhere, just because I think she's a really great person. The worst that can happen is we end up friends, and who ever said that you can have too many friends.

Clearly, I'm feeling much better about myself today, so I'm going to roll with that for a bit!
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Sunday, 6th April, 2003, 21:36, Eastern Standard Time

Okay, so today didn't end up being as cool as I had hoped. I got stood up. I was supposed to go on a date to the Art Gallery at 3. Instead it ended up being the dof and I with a DVD. Soon I won't even have the dog, so I'd better load in some DVD's.

I called her at 1 PM, as we had agreed, and left a message. When I hadn't heard from her by 2:45 I called again, and this time, she answered. She said that she had a staff meeting at 4:30, but she'd call me back when that was done. In this conversation, I got a real "I don't wanna do this" vibe.

So at any rate, she never called back, so I took that as a clear "She didn't wanna do this" sign. I know I probably could have called. I didn't call her for two reasons:

1) I had already called her twice and didn't want to come off as some sort of stalker

2) Having called her twice, I didn't want to seem desparate or as pathetic as I felt

Anyway, it seems like every step I take forward leads me two steps back. I finally have the courage and confidence to ask someone out, and this is what happens. I mean, I know it was just supposed to be a casual little date, but I needed that. I just needed to feel like I could do that.

I would have even preferred a disastrous first date, because at least then it would have been something I did. In this case it just seems to be who I am that made her not want to go out with me. And that's just a fundamental thing that's so much harder to change.

Went to see Blue Rodeo with Bill and Brenda yesterday. It was a great show, even though there were a few of the old Blue Rodeo "Classics" left unplayed. It just seems wrong to go and see them, and they don't play Rose-Coloured Glasses, Try, or Diamond Mine. Anyway, they are a great band, solid musicians all around, so a good time was had by all last night at the Civic Auditorium in the 'Shwa.